In Honor of Stupid People


In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)

On Sainsbury's peanuts "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company! I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chain saw "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
(Oh my gosh...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


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10 oct 2004