"I was born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the Pill. There weren't things like radar, credit cards, laser beams or ballpoint pens. Man had not invented pantyhose; dishwashers, clothes dryers, electric blankets, air conditioners and he hadn't walked on the moon.
"Your Mom and I got married first – then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother, and every kid over 14 had a rifle that his dad taught him how to use and respect. Until I was 25, I called every man older than me 'sir'; and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'sir.'
"In our time, closets were for clothes, not for 'coming out of.' Sunday's were set aside for going to church as a family, helping those in need, and just visiting with your neighbors. We were before gay-rights, computer dating, dual careers, day-care centers, and group therapy.
"Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong,and to stand up and take responsibility for your actions. Serving your Country was a privilege – living here was a bigger privilege.
"We thought fast food was what you ate during Lent. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. And time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends – not condominiums.
"We never heard of FM radio, tape decks, CD's, electric typewriters, artificial hearts, word processors, yogurt or guys wearing ear rings. We listened to the 'big bands', Jack Benny and the President's speeches on the radio. I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.
"If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it was junk. The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza's, McDonald's and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5 and 10-cent stores, where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice cream cones, phone calls, ride on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn't want to 'splurge,' you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail a letter and two postcards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who could afford one. Too bad too, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
"In my day 'grass' was mowed, 'coke' was a cold drink, 'pot' was something your mother cooked in, and 'rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby. 'Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office, a 'chip' meant a piece of wood, 'hardware' was found in a hardware store and software wasn't even a word."
"We were not before the difference between the sexes was discovered, but we were surely before the sex change, Billy has two mommies, and pornography in a family home and at newsstands. And we were the last generation that was so dumb as to think you needed a husband to have a baby. "No wonder people today call us old and confused, and there is such a generation gap!"
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18 feb 2000;
15 mar 2015