Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam (seen on Cape Cod)
That's It! I'm Calling Grandma! (seen on an 8 year old)
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up
Rehab Is for Quitters
My Dog Can Lick Anyone
I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?
Party - My Crib - Two A.M. (on a baby-size shirt)
Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing since 15
ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING
West Virginia: One Million People, and 15 last names
FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN
A hangover is the wrath of grapes
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music
MOOSEHEAD: A great beer and a new experience for a moose
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead
Time's fun when you're having flies — Kermit the Frog
POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing to go on.
FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a thousand times the memory.
The Meek shall inherit the earth....after we're through with it.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
HAM AND EGGS. A day's work for a chicken. A lifetime commitment for a pig.
WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX?
Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake!
The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT
Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.
Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.
MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used
by Three-Mile-Island cleanup team.
NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
Stealing from one is plagiarism. Stealing from many is research.
A shirt with a Harley Davidson logo on the front. The back said, "IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THEN THE BITCH FELL OFF!"
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.
2 apr 2001;
17 jul 2010