You might be a liberal if...
write or speak the word "he" without following it with, "or she."
...You think fascism is extremism of the right.
...You think Eleanor Clift is a good source for unbiased news coverage.
...You think St. Paul's travelling companions were St. John, St. George, and St. Ringo.
...You think the phrase, "separation of church and state" is contained in the Constitution.
...You think Sally Jessy Raphael is interested in what the male guests on her show have to say.
...You think Al Franken ever debunked anything.
...You think the Clintons are being treated unfairly by the media.
...You think the phrase, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." was first uttered by Abraham Lincoln. (Think about it.)
...You think a Ph. D. psychologist has added insight into human thought and behavior.
...You think student protestors are people with whom school administrators should negotiate.
...You think Oliver Stone makes good documentaries.
...You think piercing your body parts makes you more of an individual.
...You think the biggest problem confronting Los Angeles is police brutality.
...You think Mikhail Gorbachev deserved his Nobel Peace Prize.
...When you go to parties you introduce the person you're with as, "...and this is my partner..."
...When you go to parties you introduce the person you're with as, "...and this is my significant other..."
...You think Al Hunt is the most informed journalist working for the Wall Street Journal.
...You want to "get along" with Rodney King.
...You think the Constitution really does guarantee a woman the right to an abortion.
...You've ever held a lighted candle outdoors.
...You think Mother Theresa should just stick to helping the poor and keep her mouth shut about abortion.
...You think organically grown vegetables are worth the higher price.
...You think a college campus is improved by having a Women's Studies program.
...You've ever thought a cut was Draconian.
...You thought Christopher Dodd was sincere when he said that foreign campaign money and soft money contributions should be banned.
...You thought Christopher Dodd was sincere when he said anything.
...You think Joseph McCarthy was paranoid, and the Christian Coalition is out to take over the government, establish a national religion, force their views down your throat, and threaten democracy, itself.
...You think Anita Hill is a victim and a heroine fighting sexual harassment, and Paula Jones is a lying bimbo.
And last, but not least: You might be a liberal if...
...You think Ralph Nader cares about consumers, Unions care about their members, the ACLU cares about civil liberties, the National Education Association cares about education, People for the American Way care about the American way, and Bill Clinton cares about anything other than Bill Clinton.
-- Robert P. Grosso, Jr.
|from: The Commoners Home Page - March 8, 1997|