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Mental Flexibility Test

Mental Flexibility Test II


Thoughts for the New Decade 2020
Tight with God
The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
12 Commandments for Seniors
11. Aging has slowed you down, but hasn't shut you up.
Arrested for Shoplifting
When she went before the judge he asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied: a can of peaches.
1891 U.S. Patent Clarifies Toilet Paper Roll Direction
Puts to Rest Endless Debate on Subject

toilet paper roll Patent Application #465,588 diagram clearly shows paper coming over the top of the paper roll and descriptive text also confirms this is the correct position.
Retired Ramblings
When people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, ‘Oh, have you got a cat?’ Just once I want to say, ‘No, it’s for company!’
Joining a Senior Club
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me – again – asking why I didn’t do something useful with my time.
Just Checking
The Arizona Department of Safety Officer pulled over pick-up truck owner Mike Murray for a weapons check because of an NRA bumper sticker. 
The Bronze Rat
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in
San Francisco's China Town.
Circle Flies
A cowboy from Texas attends a social function where Barack Obama is trying to gather support for his Health Plan.
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today.
This is terrible. Please don't read it.
"Welcome to the Anxiety Hot-line"
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
The Queen's Riddle
Barack Obama meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government?
The Lawyer and The Cigars
A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of two-dozen very rare and expensive cigars then insured them against fire among other things.
Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
Subject: Dear Boss
I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief.
  Understanding Media Spin – A Guide  
It Happened in Church
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.
  The Job Applicant  
  25 Funniest Country Music Song Titles  
Life Explained
"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."
  Getting to the 3rd Grade  
  The Problem with UP  
  Dark Suckers
Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers
  Real Quotes from Auto Insurance Claims
"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again."
  In Honor of Stupid People  
A Bricklayer's Lament
Re: Claim no. 54784
Acme Corp. Sued for Product Liability
  When Osama bin Laden died...  
  Presidential Press Conference  
  The Differences Between Men and Women  
  Business Meeting Bingo  
  Military Wisdom
If you see a bomb technician running, follow him.
—U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop
  Bon Jour ~ Quotes
The next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.
  Brief History of France at War  
  Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?  
  Redneck Engineering – A Quiz  
Letter from a Marine Recruit
Oh, Those Church Bulletins
It seems as long as there has been an Internet, bloopers from Church Bulletins have been passed around for the innocent good humor they provide.
  Cow Politics  
  Math for the Fast Lane  
The Plan
Moses and The Computer
Terrible Truths
(Murphy's Laws and other principles of disaster)
Ode to the Spell Checker
Buying Paint Airline Style
Genuine Notes from
Patients' Medical Charts
Financial Theorem
Reasons Why the English Language
is So Hard to Learn
Words of Wisdom
T-Shirt Humor
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Internet Genesis
Health Tips and News
A Cowboy's Guide to Life
Always drink upstream from the herd.
The Question of Hell

"Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this,
but your thinking has become a real problem."

Humorous Facts
It Must be True,
I Saw it on the Internet
Darwin Awards — 2000
In the Beginning
Letter From Camp
Letter from Grandma
Women's Thoughts
Latest Dog Breeds
Santa Answers E-mail
Jesus is Watching
Socialist to English Dictionary
Walk on the Weird Side:
The Best 'News of the Weird' Stories of 1999
T'was the Night Before Y2K
When I was a Turkey
Scientific Understanding – A Guide
The Mortgage
The "In-flight-safety lecture"
and other fun things heard while flying
On a Desert Island
Can You Remember?
For the Record
Riding a Dead Horse
Microsoft Shipping Error
How Specs Live Forever
Ever wonder about those specifications you were handed?
Useful Phrases for the Modern Workplace
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist
Uncle Bob
Improved State Mottos
U.S. Army Voice Mail Message
Employee Performance Evaluations
Elementary Politics
Company Confidential — Internal Memoranda
Training for Success
Reduction in Personnel
RAAF Humour
Pilots' Squawks and ground crews' Solutions
Virus Alert
New strains appear
EuroLanguage Year 2000
Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish
Why Arkansas is Everyone's Favorite State
"I can't believe that those two would admit how the accident happened."
The Balloonist

updatedOnly In America
This could be fun. Send me additions for the list.

Notes From An Inexperienced
Chili Taster Named Frank

"These people are crazy."
You Might be a Liberal If ...
...You can't write or speak the word "he" without following it with, "or she."
PC Primer & PC Lexicon
Being PC is fun. PCism is not just an attitude, it is a way of life!

!TOOH a s'tI

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